Gifts for the Mother of the Bride: From the Bride, Groom and Family

The mother of the bride often spends months helping a wedding come together. A gift is a way of saying that you noticed. This guide is about gifts for her, from the bride, from the couple, from the groom and from friends, and also about what she might give in return. It is not about what she wears on the day, which our guide to choosing her own wedding-day jewelry covers.

What do you give the mother of the bride?

You give her something that is personal to her and shows that her role was noticed, and the most common form is a keepsake from the bride, often paired with a handwritten letter. Gifts are usually modest in size and large in meaning: jewelry, a framed photograph, a keepsake that she can look at long after the wedding.

Etiquette guides we reviewed describe giving the mother of the bride a gift as customary but optional, something couples often choose to do for both sets of parents as a thank-you. That means there is no wrong answer, only a right one for her. If she is private and practical, a useful or understated gift lands better than a showy one. If she is sentimental, a personal piece of jewelry and a note will probably be kept for years.

A gift from the bride: wedding morning, rehearsal dinner, or after

A gift from the bride is the most common kind, and it works best when it says something specific about the relationship. The bride can give it alone or sign it together with the groom.

Common moments for giving it include a few weeks before the wedding during some one-on-one time, at the rehearsal dinner, while getting ready on the morning of the wedding, or shortly after. The morning of the wedding suits many families because it is private and emotional, but if the day will be rushed, the rehearsal dinner or a quiet moment afterward can feel less crowded.

Good choices from a bride:

• A necklace with the bride's own initial, so her mother carries her daughter with her. The Heart Initial Necklace ($34.99) is a script letter with a small heart, A to Z, adjustable from 16 to 18 inches.
• A necklace in her mother's birth month. The birthstone infinity necklaces ($59.99) come in all twelve months on a 925 sterling silver chain with simulated stones, which the product pages state plainly.
• A classic, quiet piece for the day itself, such as the Freshwater Pearl Necklace ($28.99), a cultured freshwater pearl on a 14K gold plated chain over 925 sterling silver.

A gift from the groom, the couple or his family

The groom or the couple together can also give the mother of the bride a gift, and this is a kind way to start a new family relationship. The groom's own thank-you matters because it comes from the person who is becoming her son-in-law, even if it is simple.

For the groom, a short handwritten note and a quiet piece such as small CZ studs ($22.99 to $23.99) or a pair of silver huggie earrings ($34.99) keep it understated. Both are 925 sterling silver, and the product pages describe them as hypoallergenic. If the groom's family wants to join in, a card signed by everyone with a small gift is a gracious gesture, though it is optional, and a friend or relative who wants to contribute can do the same with a smaller token.

Personal jewelry she will keep

The best jewelry for a mother of the bride is simple enough to wear again and personal enough that she will want to. Pieces that do both are a necklace with an initial, a necklace in her birth month, or a pair of quiet earrings that she can wear with almost anything.

A few honest notes before you buy:

• Initial pieces are final sale. AJLuxe's return and exchange page lists personalized and initial jewelry as final sale, so choose the letter with care. Her daughter's first initial is a safer choice than a married initial that may not be settled yet.
• Stones are simulated. The birthstone pieces and the CZ studs use cubic zirconia, which the product pages say, so describe them as such and never as diamond or genuine gemstones.
• Check the finish. The Heart Initial Necklace is a 316L stainless steel base with 18K gold plating, not sterling silver. Gold plated pieces should stay dry and come off before water, which the product pages state.
• Allow time. AJLuxe does not publish order-by dates for weddings. Order early, and see the shipping policy for how orders are handled.

What to write in the card

A card for the mother of the bride works best when it names one specific thing she did, because specifics read as sincere. A few sentences are enough.

• "I could not have done any of this without you. Thank you for everything, today and always."
• "Thank you for the years of [driving me to practice, believing in me, letting me be me]. I am who I am because of you."
• From the groom: "Thank you for raising such an extraordinary person and for welcoming me so warmly."

Budget: what a sincere gift costs

You do not have to spend a lot to give a meaningful gift to the mother of the bride, and the pieces in this guide run from $22.99 to $59.99. A heartfelt $30 piece with a handwritten letter often means more than an expensive gift without one.

• About $25: CZ studs or a small token from a friend, with a card.
• About $30 to $35: the Heart Initial Necklace, the pearl necklace or the silver huggies.
• About $60: a birth month infinity necklace.

If a couple wants to spend more, the extra often goes better to something shared, such as a framed photograph from the wedding. AJLuxe is a jewelry store, so this guide cannot cover gifts like those in detail.

If she is hard to buy for

If the mother of the bride is hard to buy for, choose something that is not an object, or something small and consumable. A handwritten letter, a framed photograph from the rehearsal dinner, a day together before the wedding, or a quiet spa afternoon all work, and none of them take up room. A necklace can still be a nice extra, but only if she wears jewelry already. If she does not, a gift she will use is better than a piece that goes in a drawer. For more on buying for a woman who has plenty already, see our gifts for older women guide.

What the mother of the bride might give

The mother of the bride may also want to give a gift, and many do, though it is not required. Common choices are a keepsake for her daughter, such as a necklace to wear on the morning of the wedding, and a gift to the couple. Wedding gifts from the bride's parents are customary but not mandatory, and the timing is flexible: at the bridal shower, the rehearsal dinner, on the morning of the wedding, at the reception, or after the honeymoon.

For her daughter, an initial or birth month necklace works well. A necklace in the bride's initial on the wedding morning is a classic, and the mother can choose a piece that matches the bride's style. For the bridal shower, our bridal shower gift ideas go through budgets, and our bride-to-be gift jewelry guide covers a gift for the bride before the day.

Related wedding gift guides

• Choosing Her Own Wedding-Day Jewelry
• Wedding Day Gifts for the Parents of the Bride
• Gifts for the Mother of the Groom
• Bridal Shower Gift Ideas
• Gifts for Bridesmaids

Frequently Asked Questions

What do you give the mother of the bride?

Give her a personal keepsake that thanks her for her role, such as a necklace with her daughter's initial or her birth month, with a handwritten note. Couples often give it, and a smaller gift from the groom or his family is a kind addition.

Does the mother of the bride give a gift to the bride?

Many mothers choose to give their daughter a keepsake on or before the wedding day, such as a piece of jewelry, though there is no rule that requires it. The gift is usually personal and given privately, often the morning of the wedding.

What is a good gift for a bride to her mother on her wedding day?

A personal gift with a handwritten letter is the most common choice, such as a necklace in the bride's initial or in her mother's birth month. It can be given the morning of the wedding, at the rehearsal dinner or in a private moment afterward.

What is a good gift for a mother of the bride to her daughter?

A piece she can wear on the day and keep afterward, such as a quiet pearl necklace or an initial necklace, with a note about what she hopes for her daughter. Choose something your daughter will wear again, not just on the wedding day.

Is it customary to give the mother of the bride a gift?

It is common but not required. Etiquette guides we reviewed describe it as a customary gesture couples often make for both sets of parents, and they frame it as an opportunity to say thank you rather than an obligation.

When should you give the mother of the bride her gift?

Any of these work: a few weeks before the wedding during some one-on-one time, at the rehearsal dinner, while getting ready on the morning of the wedding, or shortly after. Choose the moment when she will have the most time to enjoy it.

How much should you spend on a gift for the mother of the bride?

Spend what is comfortable for you. A heartfelt gift of $25 to $60 with a personal note is a sincere gift. The thought and the wording matter more than the price.

Is jewelry a good gift for the mother of the bride?

Jewelry is a good gift when it is personal and she wears jewelry already, but it is one category among several. If she does not wear much, choose a keepsake that is not jewelry, such as a framed photograph, and write a handwritten letter either way.

Final Thoughts

The mother of the bride does not need an expensive gift. She needs to hear that someone noticed her part in the day. Choose one personal keepsake, such as the Heart Initial Necklace in her daughter's initial or a birth month infinity necklace, and write the letter that goes with it. Settle the letter early, since personalized pieces are final sale.

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